in terms of political action, i guess i don’t see what the purpose of trying to make same sex marriage illegal would be. our government is not a christian nation and aims to respect all religions and faiths (and lack of religion/anti-religion). so though we believe same-sex marriage is not God’s plan for his people, why does that mean the government should impose that on all people? when the government makes same sex marriage illegal, it doesn’t make gay people suddenly convicted of their sin; it just makes them angry. but if gay people started coming to christ in large numbers and became convicted by the spirit after that or as part of their conversion or whatever, the legal argument would be less relevant. i keep thinking of the adulterous woman whom the pharisees were trying to stone and jesus just looked at with love and forgave. after looking into the eyes of jesus, i would bet that that woman never committed adultery again. campaigns to make same sex marriage illegal seem to me more like throwing judgemental stones at this community than bending down to look into their eyes and point them towards jesus. i don’t think that homosexuality/abortion/poverty/etc. are different in terms of the evil they can cause or their importance to God (though it is interesting that jesus talks about riches/helping the poor a lot more than he talks about most other stuff), but i do think that they are entirely different as political issues. if the government outlaws abortion, people are still going to have abortions in back alley ways while if the government gives money to programs to lift people out of poverty, there is only good that will come out of it. what really brings change isn’t legal action, but powerful encounters with the living God.

I have been reflecting on my own story in light of this. When I came to the Lord, I was a practicing Wiccan, and was also fairly deeply involved in eastern mysticism. I attended a Hindu temple in NYC for the first three years of high school and had a strong spiritual hunger, and a hunger for truth in a big way. It’s still a large part of my makeup, and doesn’t always make for being a good diplomat. But what got me into the kingdom, frankly, wasn’t anyone soft-pedaling around hot-button issues. After two solid years of my friends bugging me to go to their youth group, I capitulated, and pretty early on heard this from Galatians 5:19-21:

“19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

Boy, right there in v 20 it says it in black and white: witchcraft. I had lived so happy and carefree as a brazen syncretist for three years, but suddenly I came under what we call “the conviction of the Holy Spirit”. Within 6 months I was saved–and all that time, could I have pointed to a feeling of “love” from the youth group? Not really–in fact, it took me many more years to actually know what that word meant or looked like. In fact, the night I got saved, it was much more about my own desperate emptiness than about love. I had no choice–I felt it was “say yes to Jesus or die” (my feeling, not what was communicated to me). And my newfound brethren were never wavering or apologetic about the fact that, actually, I was *wrong* about reincarnation (etc., etc., etc.). I thank God! they cared enough about me to lovingly but firmly teach me the truth of the Scriptures. What a firm foundation they laid for me! Now, don’t get me wrong–I know that love is what it’s all about. I know that *now*. But don’t underestimate the power of the Word, nor of people living biblically truthful lives, to bring people into the Kingdom. Jesus Himself said that when the Holy Spirit came, He would convict the world in regards to sin, righteousness and judgment. That was true with Philip and the Ethiopian–in fact, look at the calling of all the disciples! There is something in us, and this has been my experience with my gay friends and acquaintances, that gravitates toward unapologetic conviction. Lived out in love, that’s powerful. I personally feel completely comfortable having friends of all walks of life and persuasions–and being very transparent about my beliefs. I’ve also been in situations (mostly with musicians that are Christians) where I was asked to “cover up” my true convictions for the sake of bridge-building…and I felt sleazy and dishonest.

Now, for your question about my slavery example. I believe, as I have said, that we are a post-Christian nation (if we ever were one at all; that is debatable–on another blog, not mine). Therefore, I think that it is entirely possible that we will lose whatever political effort we are engaged in on the same-sex marriage issue. Does it mean that we do not bring it into the public square for debate? No. If we really believe that Jesus has defeated “the prince of the air”, and that “the earth is the Lord’s”, then we must fight social injustices. I have been troubled by groups like Sojourners, et. al. that try to downplay “secondary issues” in favor of serving the poor, etc. Neither same-sex marriage, abortion, nor the poor are secondary OR primary!

When it came to abolition of slavery, many people rightly understood that it was important because it had to do with the oppression of human beings made in God’s image. I ask myself often, mostly in light of the shedding of innocent blood through abortion: What side of the slavery issue would I have wanted to be on? And the answer is, I would hope that I would have been part of the Underground Railroad! Yes, and praying between “guests”! Praying for the fullness of God’s Kingdom to come. Yes, and loving my neighbors that were slave-holders even while I gently but persistently took a stand for what was right. Yes, and going to the ballot-box and writing to my representatives. If we hold that our faith is important only in the realm of initial salvation but do not seek to contend for “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven”, then what is this all for?! (I refer you to my earlier post on desiring the Second Coming.)

I don’t pretend to have any ideas on this practically, other than when we see something that has not come under the Lordship of Christ, we need to use all avenues (yes, and especially prayer–you’re right about that!) to plead with Jesus to “make all things new”.

Similarly, my grandmother made an observation that I have seen play out as true almost every time: that when a boy loses his mother, either through death or divorce or illness, before adulthood (and especially before puberty), it shakes his foundation in a mighty way. She sees this with her own brother, and I see it with mine.

There’s also the very necessary conflict that adolescents have with their same-sex parent that could potentially be lost.

I’ve had several friends whose parents split up (and sadly, it usually occured around their teen years) because one of them came out. We can never overestimate the havoc that wreaks on a pubescent’s sense of self and sexuality.

My point is that ideally, as much as it is in our control, the male-female paradigm is essential for the proper formation of children. And I don’t believe that is something that “society” has made up–it’s part of that revelation thang again. There’s an element of God’s image in us that needs examples of both counterparts to be fully who we are. Again, as much as it depends on us, we ought to seek those out, especially if the hand that was dealt us was *not* that ideal. I thank God that I have had the example of godly men in my life (most notably my grandfather, husband and father-in-law) to show me what the heart of the Father is really like.

But the fundamental issue is, as you state, that marriage is a microcosm of the relationship between God and His People, and it is the fundamental unit of the Church. Mess with the integrity of those things, and you’re playing around with the integrity of God’s purposes in Creation.

Like you, Vesper, I have many acquaintances and not a few friends who are homosexual and are in long-term committed relationships. I value my friendships with these folks, but their relationships with their partners, whatever else they may be, are not marriage and never will be marriage, regardless of what laws may be passed.