I recently attended a birth which was very difficult and culminated in a cesarean for the mom. She had planned a home birth, and I’ll never know whether her c was truly necessary or not. But this mom suffers to this day from PTSD from her very frightening experience.

My belief, after seeing a number of very different births at this point, is that every woman’s experience is her own, and that her birth-related feelings, all of them, have to be taken seriously. I don’t know if I necessarily believe that “all are from the Lord”. I have seen women, and heard stories of others, that were physically and verbally abused by their care providers; others behind their backs. Today I heard a woman describe her OB’s words to her husband after getting a routine episiotomy (for a 6 lb baby!): “Don’t worry, I’ll stitch her up nice and tight for you.” I think sometimes we can think that we have to accept whatever happened to us in birth and not complain, because, after all, we got that “healthy mom and baby”. There are so many other areas of life and global situations where we raise money to get people out of them–things like slavery, malnutrition, genocide–but when women are being hurt and maltreated at the moment of greatest need for empowerment (becoming mothers) and protection (physical vulnerability), we remain silent and think we have to just accept our lot. I think a lot of it is living in the most prosperous country in the world and thinking that whatever transpires must have been the best and most necessary thing. (If this is true, then why is the US behind 40 other countries in terms of mortality and morbidity for both mom and baby???)

I was at another birth where the mom received medications, but (in addition to my class) she had done a ton of research and she and her husband actually felt completely empowered in making the choice to receive those meds and to choose the procedures that wound up in the best outcome for her and the baby. They were all smiles the next day, even though they had the exact opposite experience than they planned.

The truth is that *women* (and no one else) need to be given the power to birth their babies, and to make *truly* informed choices. I mean, _truly_ informed, based on fact and good science. Not in the moment, under duress, with the threat of their baby’s life or safety being compromised if they don’t go along with the program.

I have been thinking about this blog for several days now and to be honest, I was quite terrified to submit a comment. But after prayer, I think I have something to share…

Birth is something that is unique to each us. For some of us, it is quite personal and private. For others, it is an offering or testimony that we are very willing to share with others. Birth, in one sense, is the very beginning of a face-to-face relationship with our children. Of course, we have a relationship with them while they are in our wombs, but there is something miraculous and beautiful about seeing and holding our babies face to face – skin to skin.

It’s very much like the beginning of many intimate relationships. When I first began dating Troy, I wanted to shout it from the roof tops. Everyone knew and everyone heard the tale of our love…but I have a friend, who when she began her relationship with her now husband, would not disclose the details to me…she wouldn’t tell me when they first said “I LOVE YOU” …or their first kiss. It was too personal for her. These memories she kept in her heart. I never understood why….until I had Silas.

For some of us, we may see birth this way. It is very personal and intimate – a memory we will never forget. The details, whether difficult or complete bliss, are some things that we keep close to heart.

I am grateful for the women, like Vesper, who have a passion for women and childbirth and are eager to share their thoughts and passion with others. I mean, someone needs to talk about it and women should know all their options – and I can also also understand the women who keep their births close to their hearts….hashing them out to the Lord, because yes, birth matters to the Lord and He gives each of us a different and unique story. Some will include home births, others c-sections, some water tubs, others drugs…each will be different and yes, each given from the Lord.

How good our Father is that our bodies CAN give birth – that we are able, if we choose… to birth healhty babies in the comfort of our homes! How good our Father is that when something goes wrong, we now have the medical intervention that saves lives of both mother and child! Are there problems in both arenas? Absolutely! We live in a fallen world- even good medicine can be abused as well as natural aspirtations.

The point is this – let us celebrate life and praise the Lord that he has given us, women, the important role of birthing life. We are blessed! Let us embrace our differences and opinions with the common understanding that the Lord has given us free will and we each will choose to birth our babies they way we feel the Lord directs us. Let us listen to the stories of those who want to offer them, and let us respect those who would choose to keep their birth story closer to heart.

This will please the Lord.
Thanks,
Noelle