Women to Watch
I’m reading a book called “The Fire Within”, which is about St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross and their prayer lives. It fits with what God is doing in my heart right now. I feel God’s reality, love and presence like I may never have felt before. I don’t know when I’ve ever felt this clear and open confidence in the Lord. In reading about Teresa, I feel I recognize her as such a kindred spirit–feisty but so keenly aware of God’s mercy and great love; intolerant of B.S. but knowing she has been forgiven much. I hope these quotes bless you and kindle within you more and more love of God.
“It seemed my soul wanted to leave my body because it didn’t fit there nor could it wait for so great a good. The impulse was so extreme I couldn’t help myself, and it was, in my opinion, different from precious impulses; nor did my soul know what had happened, nor what it wanted, so stirred up was it. Although I was seated, I tried to lean against the wall because my natural power was completely gone…The glory of this rapture was extraordinary. I remained for the rest of Pentecost so stupefied and stunned I didn’t know what to do with myself, or how I had the capacity for so great a favor and gift. I neither heard nor saw, so to speak, but experienced wonderful interior joy. I noted from that day the greatest improvement in myself brought about by a more sublime love of God and much stronger virtues.”
“…This time the Lord desired that I see the vision in the following way: the angel was not large but small; he was very beautiful, and his face was so aflame that he seemed to be one of those very sublime angels that appear to be all afire. They must belong to those they call the cherubim, for they didn’t tell me their names. But I see clearly that in heaven there is so much difference between some angels and others and between these latter and still others that i wouldn’t know how to explain it. I saw in his hands a large golden dart and at the end of the iron tip there appeared to be a little fire. It seemed to me this angel plunged the dart several times into my heart and that it reached deep within me. When he drew it out, I thought he was carrying off with him the deepest part of me; and he left me all on fire with great love of God.”
Posted by Vesper on November 22nd, 2009 in Going Deeper, Sharing Jesus, Women to Watch | No Comments »
…or so Bernard of Clairvaux called it.
The Song of Songs has become my obsession. I think it might become the theme song of Esther’s harem. The Shulammite shepherdess is our Woman of the Year. I have discovered (thank you, IHOP), that my life’s calling is not art, or music, or writing, or speaking, or anything…those are the “lamps”. My life’s calling is to buy the oil from Jesus. It’s the oil of intimacy. It’s the oil of seeking his face. Eternity will be spent doing this very thing–and he is calling us to start now.
I want to share a little nugget of awesomeness from Bernard of Clairvaux. I picked up his “Talks on the Song of Songs” at IHOP–86 sermons on this one little 8-chapter book. He is talking here about Song of Songs 1:1: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.” The mouth of God is the Word, and is also a symbol of intimacy with him.
“We do not begin with ‘the kisses of his mouth’. Fall down on the ground before Christ. Take hold of his feet. Implore him with kisses. Let your tears wash his feet. Bathe yourself in them. Then you will become on of ‘a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing (Song 4:2). It is still too soon to even look up toward his face…First we fall in repentence at his feet. Then we accept the hand that will lift us up and take away our fear. Ultimately, after we have received these divine favors through many tearful prayers, we will dare to look toward his mouth. Such divine beauty! We do not merely look. With cautious hesitancy and humility I will say it: We receive a kiss. This kiss joins our spirit with his. Lord Jesus, ‘my heart says of you, “seek his face!” Your face, Lord, will I seek” (Psalm 27:8). When I fell in the dust at your feet, you forgave me. When you lifted me to my feet with your hand, I rejoiced. Now, while my fervent spirit is flooded with the fullness of your light, grant me the kiss of your mouth. Let me know the limitless joy of your divine presence.”
I am asking God to give me the gift of tears–of repentence, of his heartbreak for the lost, of brokenness. I am asking him to enthrall me with a vision of his holiness and beauty. Jesus, be my “magnificent obsession”.
Will you join me? Are you a Shulammite?
Posted by Vesper on March 26th, 2008 in Going Deeper, Women to Watch | 6 Comments »
Dear Sisters,
Recently, a good number of you had the opportunity, at the Valentine’s Tea, to see Rebecca Houck perform a contemporary dance, choreographed to a poem by Page Malbrough. Afterwards, several people had questions about the content and form of the dance, as well as about the costume choices. I felt it necessary to make Rebecca aware of some of the difficulties that arose, and she received them very graciously.
I think it is important to say here that I stand by Rebecca, her craft and above all her intensely passionate heart for Jesus–both to know him and to make him known. In the arts, we are often asked to encounter things that are foreign to us, or that make us uncomfortable. This is, in my opinion, and in that of other Christian artists, one of the primary needs for the arts in Christian life: to open a picture of reality, whether that is one of joy, struggle, or what have you. Most of us are not well-acquainted with the art of dance, and that’s OK–we can learn and talk with each other about it.
I know Rebecca feels as I do, that dialogue and communication are *essential* in our life together as a body, and she has offered to present an explanation of her piece in the following blog entry. I know that if you had anything you wanted to discuss with her, she would welcome the chance for open dialogue, as this can only further our understanding of each other. That being said, I also recognize, acknowledge and validate the struggles that my sisters had with the piece, and I want to reassure all of us that we are FOR each other, and that when we believe on Christ, the Holy Spirit comes to live inside each one of us–whether we agree with each other or not. We can learn to trust each other because HE is trustworthy.
So here are Rebecca’s words. In the comment box, I will also post Page’s poem as a reference. I TRULY welcome ALL comments; please measure your words, and seek to be charitable along with your honesty. You all are treasures.
“The Burning of My Heart”
by Rebecca Houck
I was grateful for the opportunity to collaborate with Page on our performance piece for the Women’s Valentine’s Tea and then later to have Eve join us. Up until several months ago I didn’t think God was going to use my gift of dancing and choreography in the church. It has been my experience that people in the church have not been very receptive to contemporary dance. But I am very excited to be part of what God is doing through the arts at Lamb of God. I love the Lord with all my heart and I have a burning desire to be with Him and to do His will.
As part of my choreographic process, I spend time with the Lord asking for His anointing and praying that my dance would be an offering to Him, pleasing in His eyes and benefiting those who view it. This dance was no exception. I love when God reminds me of David in 2 Samuel 6 when he danced and disrobed himself in the sight of others in celebration before the Lord. The Holy Spirit living inside me moves me to dance and choreograph His message of truth and hope in a way that is artistically sound.
It was my gift to my sisters at Lamb of God to share my dancing and choreography with you. And I was blessed to work with my loving sisters Page and Eve. Last November, I was able to share with some women that were at the Women’s Worship Arts Apprenticeship about the vision God gave me for dance, but for those of you who weren’t there I would love to share with you as well.
I’ve written a rough description of my dance for the Valentine’s Tea because I wanted to share with you where I was coming from with regards to my artistic choices. So, I have written out some of the dance movements, my thoughts and how it relates to God’s truth and Page’s poetry.
The dance at the Women’s Valentines’ Tea was about my burning heart for the Lord. The piece started out with me moving in a sensual way representing the love for ourselves separate from God. Then as I turned and realized everyone was looking at me, my sin was exposed. I stood there vulnerable in my “loin cloth” represented by a revealing top that I was wearing. Page starts reciting her poem, “A burning heart must first be full… the follower ashamed in his loin cloth like a fig tree in leaf without fruit…its silk unraveling to reveal his nakedness” as I wither to the floor in a grotesque fashion representing the destruction of my sin. I lie on the floor as Page recites “The world strips me of my linen cloth. I break away. I desert my love.” Those words and my stillness impact us to feel the death we experience living in sin.
Then my arm is lifted and I move as if someone is dragging me (Jesus). I roll onto my back protruding my heart as if Jesus Christ is bringing me back to life. My legs begin to rock until it rolls me over and I’m on my knees lifting my arms to the Lord. I’m reaching upward and moving on my knees with passionate articulations throughout my fingers, arms, and back muscles as Page continues to recite her poem, “A burning heart must draw near…Who, like Peter, comes only as close to the fire… ‘I will follow you Rabbi’…A fisherman, casting aside his net, abandons his boat to flail in dark waters.”
I rise to my feet with a turn only to contract inward and then explosively fall to the floor in a humble, prayerful, repentant position as I am bowed down undulating through my back as if crying. Page recites, “The world strips me of my anonymity. I break away. I desert my love.”
My feet are lifted off the floor as I take a headstand position and then smoothly transition onto one leg as the other leg is extended upward. God has lifted me up from my humility and repentant heart. I draw my hand across my lips and up to the Lord representing my kiss to him. Oh how I love Him. He lifts me up.
Yet I am only human. I fall to the ground. Page recites, “Like the temple that crumbles…I stumble over myself…Burn O heart! … Crawl through the crowd on hands and knees… and rise a new temple from this fire…” As she recites, I am moving through the dance sometimes falling to the floor and other times lifting into powerful and technically sound extensions.
Page recites “Higher and higher” as I’m lifting my leg and arms up to the Lord. And from the extension I fall to my knees, crawling and reaching to God out of desperation. “Crying out, ‘Mercy!’, ‘Have mercy on me, Son of David!’, ‘Grace and grace to it!’”
From the ground, my place of surrender, God lifts me up as I move through leaps and jumps. I fall to the ground again, but with each breath I rise higher and higher as Page recites her poetry, “Who saw me the day I offered my two coins…No one but you Lord. Only you see the whole life…The beggar on his feet.” I rise to my feet by turning and extending my hands as if I am the beggar on his feet that Jesus has redeemed.
The dance begins to transform into more technically sound, passionate movements with leg extensions, open arms, turns, backbends, arm balances… as Page recites, “Whole lives split open and beaming…You know my whole life from which pours this sacrifice. Drawing near I fill to bursting…Burn again O heart, And flow anointed one…”
“Burn, burn forever.” I fall to the floor with my heart protruding repetitively like a beating heart and extended upward as if you could see the fire of God that’s burning from my heart.
Posted by Vesper on February 25th, 2008 in Going Deeper, Our Bodies, Ourselves, Women to Watch | 6 Comments »
Sugar and Iron
by Vesper Stamper, 2007
A slender-hipped girl clutches her man-midwife
and all of created gravity pulls her knees to earth’s core
Dust, dander rush up glittering in an oil lamp’s light
as between two cosms she becomes the door
Heavy, oaken, down goes the flesh
fairy and sprite take the head by the hair.
Panting, and animal-lowing of fear and future
tidal waves crash and foam hard on the straw
The delicious, impossible grinning grip of nature
Infinite, alert delirium of the final throes
Throw the robe o’er the rafter, she says
Heavy, oaken, down goes the flesh.
The feral smell of sugar and iron
of mineral atoms, of mares and foals
wonder and straw, sugar and iron
virgin and lover, blood and bread
See her, the bride, the hard-won woman
Throw the robe o’er the rafter, she says.
“Let there be light,”and the flicker of the lamp wick
is the first light, first colors for the first-less one
Wide-eyed, the moment between cord pulse and lung-breath
The Mouth of Fiat rooting for the breast
Here is the wheel of fire, steaming cold
He sees her, the bride, the hard-won woman.
A blue-brown baby, covered in wax
crowned with stars and heat and invisible flame
swaddled with muscle, oxygen, skin
a burning mountain that can be touched
Surely there’s divine spark in each child
Here is the wheel of fire, steaming cold.
Posted by Vesper on December 19th, 2007 in Birth, Going Deeper, Women to Watch | 6 Comments »
Well, at least it was for me. We had our second women’s ministry gathering–I’ve been calling it “The Alabaster Jar: Women Apprenticing in Worship”. Tonight’s mentor was Rebecca Houck, who shared with us a beginning lesson in movement. Boy, did God bless it. Here we were, oh, I don’t know, eight women or so, none of us dancers (I don’t think! sorry if I insult any of you!), and by the end of the night, she had us rolling around and jumping in worship to God. OK, some of us rolled more than others. Let me just say, I’m glad that by the end of the night the lights were off. :^)
Anyway, I figured I’d just recap a little of what she taught, and then open it up to comments. I especially would like to hear from the women who were there. Some of you shared very special things from the Lord. I also keep thinking of Yvonne’s word to us in the worship service yesterday, about touch. Touch can be so healing–I was a recipient of that in worship yesterday and God did a deep healing in me just by someone (Thank you, whomever that was!) lightly rubbing my back for the longest time. I think movement has the same potential for deep healing, for expressing God’s move in us, and for the sense of freedom it brings. (more…)
Posted by Vesper on November 5th, 2007 in Going Deeper, Our Bodies, Ourselves, Women to Watch | 4 Comments »
Most of you know that I work with women in the childbirth field. What follows is a personal musing on the story of the Hebrew midwives who delivered Moses.
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Shiprah, by Barry Moser
From a beautiful edition of the Bible containing hundreds of his engravings
 Puah, also by Barry Moser
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Exodus 1:15-22
Then the king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, one of whom was named Shiph’rah and the other Pu’ah, “When you serve as midwife to the Hebrew women, and see them upon the birthstool, if it is a son, you shall kill him; but if it is a daughter, she shall live.”
But the midwives feared God, and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, but let the male children live. So the king of Egypt called the midwives, and said to them, “Why have you done this, and let the male children live?”
The midwives said to Pharaoh, “Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women; for they are vigorous and are delivered before the midwife comes to them.”
So God dealt well with the midwives; and the people multiplied and grew very strong. And because the midwives feared God he gave them families. Then Pharaoh commanded all his people, “Every son that is born to the Hebrews you shall cast into the Nile, but you shall let every daughter live.”
This story of Shiprah and Puah gave me chills and a huge revelation one night last year. (more…)
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Posted by Vesper on September 13th, 2007 in Birth, Women to Watch | 2 Comments »
*Note: Please make sure you’ve read Water With a Source, part 1 before this entry, to learn what a mikvah is. It’s essential to understanding this post.
This is an account of my mom’s mikvah when she converted to Judaism (upon marrying my stepfather):
I had one submersion experience. I was 9 months pregnant and this was a conversion experience. It was on the upper west side I think I remember a big water tank on the roof. That’s all I know.
I had to not touch the walls and I had to go completely under. (three times?)
I remember other women asking me, why are you here? Because I was pregnant, couldn’t be needing mikvah.
They smiled when I told them.
It was cool, dark.
It was one part of my conversion. I also had to confess my faith in front of the congregation and Also had to take classes.
Married women typically go to the mikvah every month several days after the end of their flow. It’s a private time, and nowadays the sheer population can help to ensure one a chance to go the mikvah incognito; not to mention how fractured we are as a society. I’m just going to take a guess, however, that in biblical times, things may have been different. I could be wrong, but allow me to daydream for a moment. (more…)
Posted by Vesper on September 3rd, 2007 in Going Deeper, Our Bodies, Ourselves, States of Life, Women to Watch | 8 Comments »
Recently, Kieran Monahan and I went to Women’s Spiritual Life Day at Fellowship Deaconry in Libery Corner, NJ. (It occurs every year, on the day after Mother’s Day. If you haven’t been, I encourage you to go–you will be blessed.) The speaker this year was Dotty Schmidt, a feisty woman in her late 60’s. She is proof positive that “the best is yet to come”, and that age does not equal the cancelling out of passion. Kieran and I were so grateful to sit at the feet of this incredible woman. She reminded me of Mary Anne in a lot of ways (though Mare is a lot younger!), in the sense that she has attained something with her life experience that is contagious–you want to catch what she has.
Though there were many themes that she taught on, there was one that stuck out to me. She showed us that when Jesus entered the world, there were three generations of women who welcomed him (there were men, too, but hey–this is a women’s blog!).
Mary–the teenager
Elizabeth–the middle-aged woman
Anna–the elderly woman
We all fall somewhere in that spectrum. (more…)
Posted by Vesper on August 31st, 2007 in States of Life, Women to Watch | 2 Comments »
Ok, ladies, what would you like to talk about here at the Kaffe Klatsch?
And…as I said before, I welcome your submissions!
To submit a suggestion, click on “add a comment” below.
To submit a work of your own, email me: vespersongs at hotmail dot com.
And for something interesting, check out this video about Sinead O’Connor’s new album, Theology. It’s based in her study of the Old Testament Prophets. VERY interesting. She’s always been a fascinating woman to me.
Love,
Vesper
Posted by Vesper on August 28th, 2007 in Going Deeper, Welcome, Women to Watch | 2 Comments »
I’m currently reading a biography of a woman of whom you may or may not have heard. Aimee Semple McPherson was the founder of the International Church of the Foursquare Gospel. She was larger than life. Her drive to preach the gospel was like a steam train. I encourage you to listen to this past weekend’s podcast about her from Speaking of Faith, an NPR program that deals with religion and ethics. You will be moved and inspired, and I promise you that it will raise a lot of questions for you.
McPherson was an imperfect woman; a celebrity in the pre-TV age; a strong woman where most women of the day did not dare to tread; a woman with maybe too much energy for her own good. Like any celebrity, she faced accusations of scandal–no one is sure to this day whether or not they were true. Yet she moved on undeterred, passionately preaching the Gospel; reportedly fed a million people during the Great Depression; was an advocate for the poor and for ethnic equality decades before the official Civil Rights movement.
What do you think? Let me know.
Posted by Vesper on August 14th, 2007 in Women to Watch | 4 Comments »
