“It seemed my soul wanted to leave my body because it didn’t fit there nor could it wait for so great a good. The impulse was so extreme I couldn’t help myself, and it was, in my opinion, different from precious impulses; nor did my soul know what had happened, nor what it wanted, so stirred up was it. Although I was seated, I tried to lean against the wall because my natural power was completely gone…The glory of this rapture was extraordinary. I remained for the rest of Pentecost so stupefied and stunned I didn’t know what to do with myself, or how I had the capacity for so great a favor and gift. I neither heard nor saw, so to speak, but experienced wonderful interior joy. I noted from that day the greatest improvement in myself brought about by a more sublime love of God and much stronger virtues.”

“…This time the Lord desired that I see the vision in the following way: the angel was not large but small; he was very beautiful, and his face was so aflame that he seemed to be one of those very sublime angels that appear to be all afire. They must belong to those they call the cherubim, for they didn’t tell me their names. But I see clearly that in heaven there is so much difference between some angels and others and between these latter and still others that i wouldn’t know how to explain it. I saw in his hands a large golden dart and at the end of the iron tip there appeared to be a little fire. It seemed to me this angel plunged the dart several times into my heart and that it reached deep within me. When he drew it out, I thought he was carrying off with him the deepest part of me; and he left me all on fire with great love of God.”

Citing the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s call to civil disobedience, 145 evangelical, Roman Catholic and Orthodox Christian leaders have signed a declaration saying they will not cooperate with laws that they say could be used to compel their institutions to participate in abortions, or to bless or in any way recognize same-sex couples.

“We pledge to each other, and to our fellow believers, that no power on earth, be it cultural or political, will intimidate us into silence or acquiescence,” it says.

The manifesto, to be released on Friday at the National Press Club in Washington, is an effort to rejuvenate the political alliance of conservative Catholics and evangelicals that dominated the religious debate during the administration of President George W. Bush. The signers include nine Roman Catholic archbishops and the primate of the Orthodox Church in America.

They want to signal to the Obama administration and to Congress that they are still a formidable force that will not compromise on abortion, stem-cell research or gay marriage. They hope to influence current debates over health care reform, the same-sex marriage bill in Washington, D.C., and the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which would prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation.

They say they also want to speak to younger Christians who have become engaged in issues like climate change and global poverty, and who are more accepting of homosexuality than their elders. They say they want to remind them that abortion, homosexuality and religious freedom are still paramount issues.

“We argue that there is a hierarchy of issues,” said Charles Colson, a prominent evangelical who founded Prison Fellowship after serving time in prison for his role in the Watergate scandal. “A lot of the younger evangelicals say they’re all alike. We’re hoping to educate them that these are the three most important issues.”

The document was written by Mr. Colson; Robert P. George, a professor of jurisprudence at Princeton University, who is Catholic; and the Rev. Timothy George, dean of Beeson Divinity School, an evangelical interdenominational school on the campus of Samford University, in Birmingham, Ala.

They convened a meeting of Christian leaders in Manhattan in September to present the document and gather suggestions. The 4,700-word document is called the “Manhattan Declaration: A Call of Christian Conscience.” The New York Times obtained an advance copy.

The document says, “We will not comply with any edict that purports to compel our institutions to participate in abortions, embryo-destructive research, assisted suicide and euthanasia, or any other antilife act; nor will we bend to any rule purporting to force us to bless immoral sexual partnerships, treat them as marriages or the equivalent.”

Ira C. Lupu, a law professor at George Washington University Law School, said it was “fear-mongering” to suggest that religious institutions would be forced to do any of those things. He said they are protected by the First Amendment, and by conscience clauses that allow medical professionals and hospitals to opt out of performing certain procedures, and religious exemptions written into same-sex marriage bills.

The most likely points of controversy, he said, could involve religious groups that provide social services to the public. Such organizations could be obligated to provide social services to gay people or provide spousal benefits to married gay employees.

Mr. George, the legal scholar at Princeton University, argued that the conscience clauses and religious exemptions were insufficient, saying, “The dangers to religious liberty are very real.”

Global Prayer Room.

I apologize for not posting an entry last night; I was out with the Forerunner Street Evangelism team in the Plaza section of Kansas City. This was the first time I’d done anything like this. It was pretty audacious, even for me. :) There were about ten of us who went out to simply bring the good news to folks that might never darken the door of a church. We split into teams of two, and I was paired with a young man named Nathan. He had done a lot more of this than I had (which was none), so I told him that I was just going to follow his lead.

The Plaza is a shopping disctrict of about six or so square blocks of upscale shops (Brooks Brothers, Anthropologie, etc.) and restaurants. Being Friday night, lots of people were out on the town, dressed up pretty fancy, and no one in a big hurry. Nathan and I had some tracts and some flyers for an upcoming presentation here at IHOP by a man named Bob Weis, who actually had an experience of being in Hell for 23 minutes. (I’ve heard the recording; it’s quite compelling.) We had a couple of brush-offs, but nothing like you’d experience in NYC. One woman was kind of hostile and had made up her mind that she “did not want to hear anything about Jesus.” (Ask my mom; she said the same thing to me once, only not that civilly.)

Maybe two months ago now, I had been listening to a teaching on prophetic evangelism by Hal Lindhart, who is the head of the evangelism department here. He said something that stuck with me: that we must not despise a particular method of evangelism just because we think, or have heard, that it doesn’t “work” or that it’s distasteful or cheesy. That hit me so hard and really humbled me. I think we can have a really superior attitude toward certain forms of evangelism. Come on, haven’t YOU made fun of Chick Tracts? I have. But last night I was givin’ ‘em out–and you know what, people asked us for them.

Here’s a little synopsis of some of the folks we spoke to:

• James and his wife at a bus stop. We asked if we could pray for him, and he shared that his son had just gotten jumped and was in the hospital. I had a prophetic word for him, that God knew his fatherly heart and had the same heart for his son, and was going to show it to both of them. I also felt God was wanting to pour out encouragement to James, and I told him that, and for the first time, he looked up and looked me in the eyes.
• Because all four of the folks at the bus stop were very receptive (Nathan and I became really fond of “bus stop ministry”), we actually went back and spoke to Milton, who was the toughest looking one there, but who was obviously pretty shy and insecure, and seemed to want to know more but didn’t know what questions to ask. He asked for a tract. We looked him in the eyes and told him how much Jesus loved him and was pursuing him and really wanted him. I think if we really understood how God burns with desire for us and for all people, we would really go for it. God, give us a revelation of your burning heart!
• Ben and Peter were two young guys who God pointed out really clearly to me. It became apparent that they were believers but pretty skeptical of what we were doing, but pretty quickly saw that we were not threatening and we got into maybe the best conversation of the evening. I saw that Ben had a real heart for truth and discernment, which had maybe crossed a line into cynicism or a critical spirit, but that in its good state, it was the heat God gave him. We had a lot in common musically (he was really excited about the new mewithoutyou album for which my brother-in-law Josh did the string arrangements and our producer Dan Smith produced, and I told him about Ben + Vesper). Nathan spoke to him about King David and his restoration–that even though he was a really fallen leader, he was still one “after God’s own heart” and that God used him mightily. We saw that Ben actually had a good knowledge of Scripture and the Heart behind it. Nathan asked him if he had ever received the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and he said he didn’t really know what that was. So Nathan explained, and Ben said he could pray for that. Well, while Nathan prayed for that, I had a very clear vision of a white dove with its wings straight up, coming and landing on Ben. And there were bright white flames licking the dove’s wings–just going like a whirlwind around the wings. Well, as soon as Nathan stopped praying, Ben very surprisingly grabbed all four of us in a huddle and with a very new authority, prayed for us! And he told the Lord that He was his King and that he was glad that we had stopped them. It was really powerful.
• Jamie of the Green Shirt. Before we got off the shuttle, we asked God to show us if we should look for anyone, and I saw a girl in a green shirt and jeans. I passed several that fit that description, but I stopped a very fancy lady named Jamie and told her that God had told me to look for someone of that description. I asked i f I could pray for anything for her, and she asked me to pray for her 4 year old daughter, Alyssa. She seemed a little surprised but let me pray for her.
• Angela and Matt. A super artsy couple. She is the person from last night that I feel most compassion for, and I can’t shake her from my mind. I told her I was from a school of ministry and that we were asking people to tell us what the first thing was that came to mind when we said the name “Jesus”. Well, Matt refused to answer, and Angela said “the man you learn about in Sunday School”. I asked if either of them thought of Jesus much, and they said no. I asked if they ever thought about God much, and they said no. So I asked Angela what made her tick, what her greatest inspiration was, and she replied “the Arts and humanity; the was humanity is all connected.” (Later on, as I thought about this, I thought, a) Why didn’t I tell her I was an artist and ask her more about her art? and b) Why didn’t I tell her how much Jesus care about that, too?!) I asked if I could tell them about Jesus, and they said no, so I blessed them and told them to enjoy the beautiful night. I’m gonna pray for that girl. She really touched my heart.
• Rashad and Cory. Two young men that looked a bit intimidating at first, but Nathan got to talking to them while I was with Angela and Matt. When I rejoined them, I saw God’s burning love for Cory and told him so. He replied, “What do you think when you see me?” And I told him I saw that God loved him. He asked again, and Nathan said, “I see that there’s a calling on your life for music and worship.” Cory interjected, and said to me, “I know what I see when I see you.” “What’s that?” “You’re a very helpful person. You’re very nice.” So Cory and I sat down and talked for a while. He was trying to be a bit manipulative, but he could see I wasn’t having it, and decided to be a little more truthful with me. He was the kind of person you could be very forward with. All of a sudden I saw a rope connected to his heart, and God was on the other end of it reeling it in. I told Rashad that it didn’t matter if he was half a mile away; God was still reeling in that rope. I spoke to him a lot about repentance (see yesterday’s post) and a new way to look at our sins. He was receptive, thoughtful, but “not ready”–so I asked him one last question: “Do you know that you’ll wake up tomorrow?” and asked him to remember the rope.

That was the last conversation of the night. There is no high in the world like seeing Jesus reach out his rescuing hand deep into the pit. I can’t get His smile out of my mind. And those burning eyes of flame! His burning desire for us! His commitment to fallen humanity! His white-hot desire and pursuit of each one of us!

IHOP Prayer Room

This morning I went to the Forerunner Evangelism Institute’s weekly “open house”. It was really sweet; about 30 or so people in the room with very simple, unpolished worship, prophetic prayer (the woman praying for me had a picture of me with a spear that I was going to throw a long way, with a message on the end of it), and a message by David Vagnoni (sp) on preaching repentance. Wow. Fantastic.

What I realized through this is that I’ve been preaching half a gospel. I’ve gotten pretty decent at the “God loves you” part when I’m speaking to the lost. The problem is that it leaves them with, at best, a warm fuzzy feeling about God, and perpetuates the belief, which is actually NOT true, but most people believe, that God forgives everyone (especially if they, whoa, say “sorry!”)–in fact, it simply cements the belief that what people call “grace” is more like an umbrella under which people have license to do whatever they want. What we need to be calling to is the flip-side of the “faith” coin: Repentance.

We have given ourselves over to the belief that if we can just get someone to make that step (which is, granted, a huge leap), that we have done our job and that person has eternal security. NOT TRUE. Every prophet, John the Baptist, Jesus and all the Apostles preached repentance. We can do no less. What does Jesus Himself say? “Repent and believe the good news”. It’s not as if John the Baptist had the pre-gospel message when he gave people the baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. In actuality, it’s one side of a two-sided coin. Without either side, what we call “Christianity” is one-dimensional, and, actually, false. However, if we only preach the repentance side, we’re guilty of a similar error. Other “religions” have repentance, but in the sense that it makes the person a more law-abiding citizen, a la Mormonism, Islam, etc. Repentance and Faith must go hand in hand.

Here’s a practical road map for what I’m relating here:

1. See Sin. The person being asked to believe must acknowledge that they are actually talking about sin. Not preference, not expedient behavior, not something he “couldn’t help”, but actual sin.
2. Hate Sin. People have a lot of excuses for their sin. Nobody hates their sin at first. They may hate the consequences (e.g. drunkenness causes people to crash their cars or be mean to their family), but they actually enjoy the sin. So they may even see it as sin, but they must look squarely at its consequences and learn to hate it.
3. Forsake Sin. The problem once people get to hate their sin is that they don’t know that there is power not to do it anymore. But here’s a question for that person: If God was willing to help you, and to give you the power to turn away from it, would you? (Hint: If the answer’s no, maybe they haven’t fully understood #2.)

Here’s what the teacher said toward the end: That we need to be “as gentle as possible but as stern as necessary.” People who do not respond to subtlety must be spoken to in plainness. But broken people need gentleness. A good surgeon doesn’t cut healthy flesh: he knows how to discern where the disease ends and the healthy flesh begins. But Jeremiah 1:17 warns us: When we are delivering God’s message, He says, “Don’t break down before them or I will break you.” In other words, let’s not water down God’s message for him. Jeremiah 6:13-15 warns about messengers of false peace. I don’t want to be one of them!

But hey, you know what? Repentance isn’t BAD news! It’s GOOD news! I have a theory, that if the Church really woke up to what salvation is and what God wants to do and has done in the life of the believer, we would change our prayers from “help us not to be afraid” to “God, i’m so full of joy about your love and your power and willingness to forgive! Who can I tell next?”

Sorry, it's going to be all camera phone, folks.

Welcome to those of you who haven’t visited my blog before. Esther’s is a place for discussion about women and faith. Anyone’s welcome to read and comment (comments are moderated). Just as a refresher, Esther’s is based on the story in the Book of Esther (in the Bible), about a common girl from a barely tolerated people group who wound up becoming a queen. In the process of her preparation to meet the king of Persia, who wanted to choose a new queen, she was part of a harem of women all undergoing a year of intense beauty treatments and training in courtly life. We imagine it must have had its perks, but that daily life must have been as mundane as ours in a certain sense. We also imagine that lots of talk went on about, well, being women, about spiritual matters, and what they observed in the world around them. That’s the essence of the blog as well. By way of reminder, also, you are welcome to submit articles for consideration. I’m not the only blogger on the column. The most valuable thing, though is the discussion that happens in the comments area. So go ahead–join us! (If you’re shy, you can write in “anonymous”.)

Well, I’m beginning a 4 or 5 part daily series blogging my trip here in Kansas City at IHOP–Prayer, not Pancakes. :) I won’t go too deep in explaining it, but you can read more about IHOP here. In short, it’s a 24 hour, 7 day a week prayer “furnace” that has been running for almost 10 years without a stop. Prayer takes place in the context of musical worship, which is incredibly enjoyable and sustainable. My husband and I came here a year ago for some training in a certain model of leading musical worship, and we (and our kids) fell in love with it. Ben and I did several overnight “night watches”, praying through the night fairly effortlessly for 10, 11, 12 hours at a stretch and hating to go back to the hotel, other than the need for, you  know, sleep. You might think of IHOP as a modern monastic movement–it’s not a church, and you can visit here as freely as you want to, but there is a community of folks that dedicate themselves to a life of prayer and service (the service coming out of a life of intimate communion with God).

I’m here on this trip partly because I simply was aching to come back (I’ve always had a touch of the monastic urge in me…and yes, some orders allow marriage…I never planned to be celibate, thank goodness!), but also because I had read about an even called a Prophetic Evangelism Summit. This appealed to me, because when I met the Man Christ Jesus almost 16 years ago, I knew that if others could only meet Him, they would find the freedom that I did. Hence the Evangelism component–sharing the “evangel”, or “good news”. I’ve even had the immense privilege of putting others’ hands in His hand a few times, and I am so grateful. But I want to get better at it. The Prophetic component has to do with listening to what the Lord might be saying for the person one is sharing that good news with–in other words, bringing it to a personal level, not a formulaic one, where the person really understands that this is about a relationship with a God who is pursuing them, not “signing people up” for a “religion”. And to be someone who operates prophetically, involves training oneself to listen keenly for the Lord’s voice, which is why this whole thing takes place in the context of saturating prayer.

Well, the Summit was cancelled, so I called the Evangelism department and asked whether they might allow me to tag along with them anyway, which they graciously allowed. So that is what I am going to do, starting tomorrow at 10 am. Stay tuned! I’ll also try to Twitter a bit, too. So right now it’s a bite to eat in their terrific cafe, and then a nice time in the Prayer Room until the painkiller wears off from my lower back injury. Ahhh…we shall see! Good night for now!

(PS, if you are ever considering visiting IHOP, I recommend the guest apartments. They are very reasonable, very clean and have more amenities than one of those DIY hotels. They also have a pool and playground.)

I have been watching the free simulcast of the onething Conference from IHOP for the past few days. The focus of the conference has been the Book of Revelation. OK, OK, hold on. Some have been concerned about that, and I understand. What makes IHOP a great place is their focus on prayer and intimacy with Christ, but more importantly their focus on what David Bryant terms the “Supremacy of Christ”. Anyone who has visited IHOP knows, however, that they also have a significant focus on the End Times. The fact that they are focusing this conference on the book of Revelation has caused some to question whether they are getting off-track regarding the focus on the “one thing”–that is, the supremacy of Christ.

In watching these sessions, my answer to that concern is, absolutely not.

I believe that we as a church (I mean worldwide) have treated the book of Revelation like Martin Luther treated the book of James–as a problematic book that we wish weren’t even in there. But I ask you: Is the book of Revelation the Word of God or NOT? In truth, it is the very Word of God. We cannot write it off. We cannot treat it as a “problem”, as though we could sit in judgment on God’s word. Now, my purpose in writing this post is NOT to get into a theological discussion. I don’t really care about post-trib-pre-mil-rapture-preterism-armageddon-blip-blop-flim-flam. I’ve read and read and read the descriptions of those various viewpoints, and they’re helpful, but I don’t think we need to align ourselves 100% with man’s descriptions of Scripture. (When I told Ben tonight that I’m not a pre-or post-millenialist, he said, “Boy, you really are an Independent, aren’t you?”), We need to actually read it and let the Holy Spirit unfold it to us. Obviously, under godly teachers, but does the Holy Spirit speak to individual believers through his Word, or not? What the book of Revelation shows, perhaps more than any other book of Scripture, is that Jesus Christ is the King of kings and Lord of lords, that he reigns over human history and has a right to power, dominion and authority over the affairs of men. And we have largely ignored it, relegating it either to fulfilled history (70 AD), a few good letters (chapters 2-3, and the rest we toss), or to something that weird back-woods fanatics focus on as they’re storing up their ammo and canned food. But, church–IT IS THE WORD OF GOD, in its entirety. All 22 chapters of it. I am purposing to begin reading this book as Scripture. I’m resolving not to be afraid of it, but to be thankful for it, as I am for the other 65 books. I am going to approach it as I believe we can the other 65 books–as a revelation of the God-man, the one who loves us, who loved us unto death, and lives for us, and yes, who is coming back for us BECAUSE he loves us.

The truth of the matter is this: Jesus Christ, the King of Kings, IS COMING BACK. That is a matter of orthodox doctrine. We may not know the day or the hour, and many people have tried to predict it and failed. That is not for us. But what I DO believe is that when the church decides that she actually WANTS him back, she’ll start asking him to COME back, and who knows, maybe he actually will want to answer that prayer! And I believe that we will know the times we are in when we are in them. The problem is, though, I believe, that the church has effectively told Jesus that she’s pretty much OK without him, and that he can stay where he is. We have effectively told the God of the universe, “Jesus, we don’t want you to come back.”

SHAME on us! Acting toward the Bridegroom as if we don’t want him back? Church, this is truly a shame on us, and we need to wake up and start looking at reality and asking ourselves the hard question: will life be better or worse when Jesus returns? If what matters to us is that we finish up our lives, get to experience marriage, kids, career success, etc., and we hold out the hand and say, “Just wait a few hundred more years, Jesus–I want to finish my thing”, then I believe Jesus will hear our collective sentiment and say, “My Bride is not ready for me. I think I’ll wait.”

But if we take a good sober look at the world–not our comfy American world, but the World–and realize that no government, no NGO, no welfare system, no amount of money thrown at the problem, will end the suffering, violence, heartache, death of children, starvation, 20 million caught in sex slavery and 200 million oppressed by the sex industry as a whole, 50 million babies murdered in the last 30 years, systematic genocide, tsunamis, earthquakes, terrorist attacks–all on the increase–how can we help but to cry out, “Jesus! Come back! Take back what is rightfully yours! This world is suffering without you!” How in the world can we keep him at arm’s length?

I don’t know about you, but I love life–I love beauty, I love my children, I love my husband, I love art and music and gardening and laughing and a warm house in the winter. And I have definitely told Jesus at many points in my walk, “Jesus, I’m not ready for you to come back–there are too many people I love that would go to hell if you did right now.” But how blind I have been to think that it’s OK to just enjoy the good things and ignore the fact that 90% of the world (and in truth, even any of us in the West) could have ANY of these things ripped from our grasp at any moment. As I hear especially of violence done to children, and think of my own precious ones, I find myself pleading with the Lord with more and more frequency, “JESUS! COME BACK!” I have reached a point where nothing good that this world can give me compares with how much I want Jesus to come back and consummate world history. I’m not apologetic about that desire. I want him to come back, because I really and truly believe that things will be better–not worse or scarier or less fully alive–when he returns. I believe that the victory he will get at the consummation will trump any suffering that precedes or accompanies it. Those people who I am concerned about going to hell, as I said above–well, if I really believe that he will have victory, then I don’t need to worry about it–because he will be victorious. And, “then we will see [him] face to face.” THEN we will be truly human, truly alive.

Do I believe we will suffer before that happens? Yes, I do. To expect not to suffer is to believe that we can be friends with the world. I don’t say that as a subscription to any particular eschatological view. This is my understanding of the Scriptures as a whole–that as followers of Christ we will inevitably suffer, because “if they hated me, they will hate you also”. And natural history will end someday. Forgive me for sounding nihilistic, but I say, the sooner the better. Bring it on, Jesus, and COME BACK SOON!

For those of you who aren’t familiar with her, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast or listen on the radio to “Speaking of Faith” with host Krista Tippet. The following quote was part of a very intriguing  episode on prayer. I was incredibly humbled by this one. It’s by one of the “Desert Fathers”.

“If a man wants God to hear his prayer quickly, then before he prays for anything else, even his own soul, when he stands and stretches out his hands towards God, he must pray with all his heart for his enemies. Through this action, God will hear everything that he asks.” Abba Zeno

Thank you, Abba Zeno. Touché. I’ll be holding onto this meditation for a while.

First and foremost, I *know* that worship went very long this week. Please forgive me; I take full responsibility for that. I know that we have a time line, and when I went into the nursery, the kids had it written all over their faces–they were spent! I took that as confirmation that it was just too long. And I apologize that it cut into the sermon time as well.

Secondly, I know that people have had trouble with times of more “improvised” music. It’s kind of like getting your school picture taken–”What do i do with my hands? Do I smile, or keep a straight face? Did my double chin show in that one?” (OK, that’s the end of the analogy.) People have expressed this feeling of discomfort not just with my leading, but with Ben’s too. Some chalk it up to a “looser” or more “artsy” personality. Believe me, I hear that concern. It is not at all my intention, nor Ben’s (I know I speak for him), to alienate anyone. I understand that some folks like to sing the song straight, and that some would like no form at all. I’d like to encourage you to think of those times as “Selahs”, like in the Psalms. A “Selah” is a musical interlude, and is meant to give space for reflection on the passage that was just sung. Sometimes this comes in the form of a word-less instrumental time, and sometimes there is a refrain that the worship leader thinks of, or is prophetically given, that takes a “snapshot” of what was sung.

Maybe this will help: You are not required to sing at those times. Take the time to sit, kneel, close your eyes, open your Bible, and just listen. You are under no obligation or pressure to “follow along”. Don’t worry. You’re not “lost”, and the worship leader is not trying to throw you a curve ball.

The third thing that was brought to my attention was the volume of new songs we have been learning. Again, I apologize; I know it is challenging. But again, there is no pressure to “achieve” anything in worship; if you flub a word or don’t get a melody right away, it’s OK. We have weeks and months to absorb songs into our vocabulary. It might help you to know that the lovely and talented Marya Mendelsohn has been tackling the streamlining of the worship book, or our repertoire. She told me today that she estimates we have five hundred songs. I’ll bet you didn’t know that! Who knew you could keep close to 500 songs in your brain?! But they’re there, and they were all new at one time. I assure you, I am trying to balance new and old. However, I felt (and could be wrong!) that since summer is a somewhat looser time at church, that it would be a better time to learn a couple of new ones so that come fall, there was a contingent of folks already familiar with them. Safety in numbers.

Lastly, I wanted to make sure everyone knew that there is a change underfoot at Lamb with worship; the team that has been leading these past weeks (with Ben and Scott gone) is going to be a permanent team, in rotation with the main worship team. Each team will have its own flavor. Nobody likes a ton of change, and I understand that and hear it. But nonetheless, I’m asking that you allow a measure of grace to us as we get our sea legs. There’s nothing over-spiritual about logistical errors–sometimes the team isn’t at their best, and this Sunday we all realized that. In fact, I am reminded a lot lately of the struggle that happened when Ben started leading worship. It wasn’t pretty. But we all love Ben’s leadership now, and we’re used to it (which is part of why it’s hard these past couple weeks for some). The best way that you can help us as a new worship team is to enter in as best as you can. And please, please please, ask tons of questions. We are one body made of many parts, and each must bring their offering to the table. We as a new team need the congregation. I really invite your dialogue about this; you won’t hurt my feelings (ok, please be nice about it, though!). I can take critique and in fact welcome it. I am no expert–I’m learning just as much as any other person, and so is the team. My deepest desire and aim is to love and know Jesus, and to make him known–whether that’s to strangers, or to my very dear brothers and sisters on Sunday mornings.

I am meditating on “Empty Arms”. Tonight I was looking through an old photo album that I brought home from my grandmother’s house that had a lot of my baby pictures in it, and it also had photos from the wedding of my mom and stepfather. I’ve looked at it now about five times, but tonight, something about it took off a scab I thought was healed. I’ve forgiven my stepfather many times over the years, but it is so deeply seated in that primal place of the parent-child relationship that I know it will be with me until I die. He chose to empty his arms of me early on. I have never know what it is like to be held by an earthly father, and I never will. Empty arms.

Today, my son jumped off of his bunk bed with a stringy stuffed animal around his neck. Thankfully, all he got was a flesh wound (a nasty one). But don’t think it escaped me in how many different scenarios
he could have gotten seriously hurt, or worse. I faced the possibility of empty arms, as every mother does at least once in her motherhood. But there is Ben’s cousin, Sarah, sitting in a hospital room with her 7-year old, who is suffering with lymphoma, whose pain meds don’t even take because the chemo sucks them right out of his little body. And he is scared. He looks at his mom with pain and fear in his eyes, and she is powerless to do anything. She faces the very real possibility of empty arms.

Sisters, this world is painful. I know it with you. Whether by choice or not, our arms will ache with emptiness at least once in this world. The only thing we can do it throw them up in the air, with a raw, vulnerable heart open to the only one in whom we can take refuge: Jesus Christ, the one who allowed himself to be pried out of the Father’s arms. Oh, to think–that every mother who has ever had to bury a child, and every child who has never known a parent’s tenderness–has an intercessor who sympathizes. A Father and a Son who emptied their arms of each other in order to fill them with you and I.

And so how can we ever cause each other strife? Oh, sisters, we need to embrace each other, put aside grievances, expectations, slanders, misunderstandings, and simply…ache with each other when it aches, rejoice when it’s really good…but guard ourselves against strife and fill each other’s empty arms with each other and with Christ.