Our Bodies, Ourselves
Dear Sisters,
Recently, a good number of you had the opportunity, at the Valentine’s Tea, to see Rebecca Houck perform a contemporary dance, choreographed to a poem by Page Malbrough. Afterwards, several people had questions about the content and form of the dance, as well as about the costume choices. I felt it necessary to make Rebecca aware of some of the difficulties that arose, and she received them very graciously.
I think it is important to say here that I stand by Rebecca, her craft and above all her intensely passionate heart for Jesus–both to know him and to make him known. In the arts, we are often asked to encounter things that are foreign to us, or that make us uncomfortable. This is, in my opinion, and in that of other Christian artists, one of the primary needs for the arts in Christian life: to open a picture of reality, whether that is one of joy, struggle, or what have you. Most of us are not well-acquainted with the art of dance, and that’s OK–we can learn and talk with each other about it.
I know Rebecca feels as I do, that dialogue and communication are *essential* in our life together as a body, and she has offered to present an explanation of her piece in the following blog entry. I know that if you had anything you wanted to discuss with her, she would welcome the chance for open dialogue, as this can only further our understanding of each other. That being said, I also recognize, acknowledge and validate the struggles that my sisters had with the piece, and I want to reassure all of us that we are FOR each other, and that when we believe on Christ, the Holy Spirit comes to live inside each one of us–whether we agree with each other or not. We can learn to trust each other because HE is trustworthy.
So here are Rebecca’s words. In the comment box, I will also post Page’s poem as a reference. I TRULY welcome ALL comments; please measure your words, and seek to be charitable along with your honesty. You all are treasures.
“The Burning of My Heart”
by Rebecca Houck
I was grateful for the opportunity to collaborate with Page on our performance piece for the Women’s Valentine’s Tea and then later to have Eve join us. Up until several months ago I didn’t think God was going to use my gift of dancing and choreography in the church. It has been my experience that people in the church have not been very receptive to contemporary dance. But I am very excited to be part of what God is doing through the arts at Lamb of God. I love the Lord with all my heart and I have a burning desire to be with Him and to do His will.
As part of my choreographic process, I spend time with the Lord asking for His anointing and praying that my dance would be an offering to Him, pleasing in His eyes and benefiting those who view it. This dance was no exception. I love when God reminds me of David in 2 Samuel 6 when he danced and disrobed himself in the sight of others in celebration before the Lord. The Holy Spirit living inside me moves me to dance and choreograph His message of truth and hope in a way that is artistically sound.
It was my gift to my sisters at Lamb of God to share my dancing and choreography with you. And I was blessed to work with my loving sisters Page and Eve. Last November, I was able to share with some women that were at the Women’s Worship Arts Apprenticeship about the vision God gave me for dance, but for those of you who weren’t there I would love to share with you as well.
I’ve written a rough description of my dance for the Valentine’s Tea because I wanted to share with you where I was coming from with regards to my artistic choices. So, I have written out some of the dance movements, my thoughts and how it relates to God’s truth and Page’s poetry.
The dance at the Women’s Valentines’ Tea was about my burning heart for the Lord. The piece started out with me moving in a sensual way representing the love for ourselves separate from God. Then as I turned and realized everyone was looking at me, my sin was exposed. I stood there vulnerable in my “loin cloth” represented by a revealing top that I was wearing. Page starts reciting her poem, “A burning heart must first be full… the follower ashamed in his loin cloth like a fig tree in leaf without fruit…its silk unraveling to reveal his nakedness” as I wither to the floor in a grotesque fashion representing the destruction of my sin. I lie on the floor as Page recites “The world strips me of my linen cloth. I break away. I desert my love.” Those words and my stillness impact us to feel the death we experience living in sin.
Then my arm is lifted and I move as if someone is dragging me (Jesus). I roll onto my back protruding my heart as if Jesus Christ is bringing me back to life. My legs begin to rock until it rolls me over and I’m on my knees lifting my arms to the Lord. I’m reaching upward and moving on my knees with passionate articulations throughout my fingers, arms, and back muscles as Page continues to recite her poem, “A burning heart must draw near…Who, like Peter, comes only as close to the fire… ‘I will follow you Rabbi’…A fisherman, casting aside his net, abandons his boat to flail in dark waters.”
I rise to my feet with a turn only to contract inward and then explosively fall to the floor in a humble, prayerful, repentant position as I am bowed down undulating through my back as if crying. Page recites, “The world strips me of my anonymity. I break away. I desert my love.”
My feet are lifted off the floor as I take a headstand position and then smoothly transition onto one leg as the other leg is extended upward. God has lifted me up from my humility and repentant heart. I draw my hand across my lips and up to the Lord representing my kiss to him. Oh how I love Him. He lifts me up.
Yet I am only human. I fall to the ground. Page recites, “Like the temple that crumbles…I stumble over myself…Burn O heart! … Crawl through the crowd on hands and knees… and rise a new temple from this fire…” As she recites, I am moving through the dance sometimes falling to the floor and other times lifting into powerful and technically sound extensions.
Page recites “Higher and higher” as I’m lifting my leg and arms up to the Lord. And from the extension I fall to my knees, crawling and reaching to God out of desperation. “Crying out, ‘Mercy!’, ‘Have mercy on me, Son of David!’, ‘Grace and grace to it!’”
From the ground, my place of surrender, God lifts me up as I move through leaps and jumps. I fall to the ground again, but with each breath I rise higher and higher as Page recites her poetry, “Who saw me the day I offered my two coins…No one but you Lord. Only you see the whole life…The beggar on his feet.” I rise to my feet by turning and extending my hands as if I am the beggar on his feet that Jesus has redeemed.
The dance begins to transform into more technically sound, passionate movements with leg extensions, open arms, turns, backbends, arm balances… as Page recites, “Whole lives split open and beaming…You know my whole life from which pours this sacrifice. Drawing near I fill to bursting…Burn again O heart, And flow anointed one…”
“Burn, burn forever.” I fall to the floor with my heart protruding repetitively like a beating heart and extended upward as if you could see the fire of God that’s burning from my heart.
Posted by Vesper on February 25th, 2008 in Going Deeper, Our Bodies, Ourselves, Women to Watch | 6 Comments »
A review of “The Business of Being Born”, from Variety: “The statistics are sobering: Though the United States spends almost twice as much as any other nation on delivering babies, the rate of infant mortality is the second worst in the developed world. Docu cites several causes, particularly the absence of midwives from most hospitals, and a cycle of methods that seeks to impose artificial time constraints on a natural process, with an eye toward the bottom line.”
Why does birth matter? Birth matters because women and their babies are made in God’s image, and with every new life, God gets another chance to show himself through them to the world. Satan hates God and those made in His image. And if you’ve read the book “Captivating”, you understand that Satan has a special hatred for women. I really believe that. And I really believe that women matter to God. Not as a creationary afterthought, but as a vital completion, the crown of creation, the finishing brushstroke.
I have to tell you right off the bat that I consider myself a feminist. For those of you that think that’s a dirty word, let me explain. As I look out over human history, I see how from the first moment of sin, women have been specially targeted by the enemy. And look at what God pronounces will happen as a result of the first sin (I don’t believe this is his punishment, but rather the natural consequences): “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” Women want to be loved, cherished, adored–yes, even worshiped, as some of my girlfriends have candidly said–and they will do stupid things to get that. The put themselves under the care of domineering men sometimes, thinking that this means protection for them. And the desire for approval from men can be so strong, that it rules over us. We should desire our husbands, and they should be over us in a protective role; but look at the wording God uses here as the consequence of sin.
(more…)
Posted by Vesper on November 14th, 2007 in Birth, Our Bodies, Ourselves, States of Life | 2 Comments »
Well, at least it was for me. We had our second women’s ministry gathering–I’ve been calling it “The Alabaster Jar: Women Apprenticing in Worship”. Tonight’s mentor was Rebecca Houck, who shared with us a beginning lesson in movement. Boy, did God bless it. Here we were, oh, I don’t know, eight women or so, none of us dancers (I don’t think! sorry if I insult any of you!), and by the end of the night, she had us rolling around and jumping in worship to God. OK, some of us rolled more than others. Let me just say, I’m glad that by the end of the night the lights were off. :^)
Anyway, I figured I’d just recap a little of what she taught, and then open it up to comments. I especially would like to hear from the women who were there. Some of you shared very special things from the Lord. I also keep thinking of Yvonne’s word to us in the worship service yesterday, about touch. Touch can be so healing–I was a recipient of that in worship yesterday and God did a deep healing in me just by someone (Thank you, whomever that was!) lightly rubbing my back for the longest time. I think movement has the same potential for deep healing, for expressing God’s move in us, and for the sense of freedom it brings. (more…)
Posted by Vesper on November 5th, 2007 in Going Deeper, Our Bodies, Ourselves, Women to Watch | 4 Comments »
OK, so even in Esther’s harem, kids get stomach flus and fevers and Esther doesn’t get to shower for several days, let alone blog. Well, I thank those of you that noticed that I hadn’t written in a bit. It means a lot that you’re reading. :^)
I just got back from an advance screening of a movie that I believe is going to make a lot of waves. It’s a movie produced by Ricki Lake, called The Business of Being Born. I believe every woman, especially those of us with daughters, need to see this movie. It will be in theaters in January, in NYC, San Fran and LA. Please visit http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/trailer.htm for more. It is one of the best movies about birth I have ever seen (and as a childbirth educator, believe me…I have seen a LOT of them). The filmmakers did a wonderful job of conveying a message in a way that is not polarizing, not political, and not shaming–rather, it shows the possibilities for women giving birth. I really encourage you to see it in January, or get it from Netflix (February). I’m going to see about hosting a local screening so I can get it to you early. I think it is very accessible, enjoyable, funny, thought-provoking, beautiful–and important. No matter what your experience or philosophy of childbirth, you will take something away from this movie that will stay with you.
OK, and Rosie O’Donnell introduced the panel speakers. Now THAT was worth the price of admission. Let me tell you, in a room full of midwives, celebrity matters…not at all. Maybe it comes from seeing so much anatomy up-close-and-personal. OK, sorry, it’s late, and if I’m not careful, I’ll start (like Scott) talking about sleeper trains and the Cleveland 49ers. (Yeah, I know my sports. Tennis, anyone?)
Now, I promised myself that I would be careful how I used Lamb’s webspace for my own personal views. And I want you to know that I am aware that my views on birth can be controversial. But I also have something that I desperately desire women to know, and that is this: that the way we bring our babies into the world *matters*. I want to write more about this, and I will–it’s after 1:30 am, though. I’m pretty pumped up about this movie, so I could stay up all night, but I do have 2 small ones who will be up in a matter of hours. Please know, though, as I hope anyone who has personally talked to me about the subject, that my concern is for the glory of God and the encouragement of women to receive all they can from him. I mess it up sometimes, to be sure, but he knows my heart, and I do my homework. So I will pose a question for you to consider.
Why does birth matter? I mean, more than the old proverb “All that matters is a healthy mom and a healthy baby”. Why does it matter whether we have drugs, no drugs, surgery, jacuzzis, whatever? Does it really matter–to us, to our babies–to God?
I would like to let you ruminate on that question, and please comment on it. Please, please, don’t let this be a one-sided conversation. I’m not afraid of anyone’s strong feelings on this issue–I welcome them, and I welcome you. But—more later, when I’ve had more sleep.
It’s good to be back, ladies. (And Jeff. Ha ha.)
Posted by Vesper on October 25th, 2007 in Birth, Healing, Our Bodies, Ourselves, States of Life | 6 Comments »
My husband recently went garbage picking, with another responsible and upstanding leader in the church, namely the youth pastor. The youth pastor got a gorgeous oriental rug. My dear husband got *another* turntable, and *two more* sets of old speakers. God bless ‘em both. But the man done good. He got me an old 1916 book called “Useful Household Helps, Hints and Receipts: 3000 References”. No, you read that right. Not recipes, receipts. I still don’t know what that means, but OK.
So in honor of garbage pickers everywhere, I am going to place one of these priceless bits of wisdom in each blog entry. I will begin with Part One, which lists the following: Care of the Skin, Teeth and Hair. Toilet Preparations, Beautifiers. Care of the Human Body. Prevention of Disease. Care of the Hands. Perfumes. Home Nursing. Care of Children. Household Remedies. Hygiene. Feeding. Bathing. Care in Dieting. Causes of Disease.
Bathing: Do not bathe when tired. / Avoid bathing within two hours of a meal. / Avoid bathing when the body is cooling after perspiration. / The vigorous and strong may bathe early in the morning on an empty stomach. / Take a daily water bath, not only for cleanliness, but for skin gymnastics.
Read the blog often for more.
Posted by Vesper on October 25th, 2007 in Musings, Our Bodies, Ourselves | No Comments »
by Amy Laura Boydston
Congratulations, Amy–you’re our first contributor! Boy, I wish I had thought of some nifty prize for that. Well, you have the distinction. Hope that’ll suffice for now. :^) What follows is an introductory article on Natural Family Planning, and why this family chose this method of birth control. I will just add that even people like me, who had very difficult hormonal problems, have actually found answers to those problems by using this method when chemical methods (like the Pill) made things *worse*. So this is very helpful even if you’re not “regular” with your cycle. Please post comments or questions below and Amy or I will do our best to point you in the right direction. Enjoy! –Vesper
I grew up as your typical and rare “good little Christian girl.” I did not have sex until I was married in November of 2003 (I was twenty-four at the time). Since I was not sexually active, had no menstrual problems, and was fairly young I had no reason to consult a gynecologist and get a prescription for birth control pills.
I really had a “fear” of sex and the gynecologist, so when the Pastor Tom from my home church (Crossroads Christian Fellowship, in Union) suggested Natural Family Planning as a method of birth control during pre-marital counseling, I was really interested; number one, because in my mind it was an excuse not to have to go to the gynecologist and number two, I was not really into the thought of taking a pill that would alter my already perfectly fine menstrual cycle (Though, I am not against birth control pills, I am against pills that kill fertilized eggs). (more…)
Posted by Vesper on September 17th, 2007 in Birth, Our Bodies, Ourselves, States of Life | 3 Comments »
*Note: Please make sure you’ve read Water With a Source, part 1 before this entry, to learn what a mikvah is. It’s essential to understanding this post.
This is an account of my mom’s mikvah when she converted to Judaism (upon marrying my stepfather):
I had one submersion experience. I was 9 months pregnant and this was a conversion experience. It was on the upper west side I think I remember a big water tank on the roof. That’s all I know.
I had to not touch the walls and I had to go completely under. (three times?)
I remember other women asking me, why are you here? Because I was pregnant, couldn’t be needing mikvah.
They smiled when I told them.
It was cool, dark.
It was one part of my conversion. I also had to confess my faith in front of the congregation and Also had to take classes.
Married women typically go to the mikvah every month several days after the end of their flow. It’s a private time, and nowadays the sheer population can help to ensure one a chance to go the mikvah incognito; not to mention how fractured we are as a society. I’m just going to take a guess, however, that in biblical times, things may have been different. I could be wrong, but allow me to daydream for a moment. (more…)
Posted by Vesper on September 3rd, 2007 in Going Deeper, Our Bodies, Ourselves, States of Life, Women to Watch | 8 Comments »
