Revival fire must ignite marriage and the life of families….
The Dove of Peace, for the Celts an image of love and harmony, as well as a symbol of innocence and marital love, of Christ and Mary. The dove conquers the lion (eros) with caresses. Every command in scripture challenges us to trust Christ, and to rely upon the grace of God to empower our obedience.
But is there a command more challenging to a man that Paul’s word in Ephesians 5: 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her? I find no higher standard anywhere in scripture than this word. It places the absolute highest requirement on the behavior of a married man. It is a call to sacrifice and service second only to Christ himself. It could be daunting if we do not meditate on it and ask the Holy Spirit for understanding regarding what it actually looks like in day to day life.
I believe fulfillment of this commandment begins with a very simple question posed to our wives - what does it mean for me to love you? If you were fortunate enough to have a good role model in the example of your own father and how he loved your mother you have a foundation which will go a long way toward helping you to care for your wife as Christ commands. But if you didn’t then asking this question of your wife and then really listening to her answer is critical. Even if you had a great example in your own father and mother it still important to know the answer to the question - how does my wife need to be loved by me?
The are certainly ways in which all woman are the same, much as the same thing could be said of all men. However, after 25 years of pastoral care with men and women I believe that there are certain mysteries to our wives that must be uncovered by sitting across from them, looking in their eyes and asking - how can I love you so that you really feel loved?
A few years ago while I was in Brazil I had the joy of sitting with a dear couple and talking to them about this very notion. I challenged the husband to have this conversation with his wife. He listened to me and sat her down and asked the question, and then really listened to her answer. I was with that family again this past summer. The change was really significant. She had been a very timid and insecure woman. Now she was confident, and carried her self with a new sense of courage I had never seen in her before. I wondered, “did all this come from a husband simply loving his wife?” Well, the answer is a qualified yes. God worked in that situation as this young husband really took to heart the command of scripture spoken through Paul in Ephesians 5. The Holy Spirit used his faithfulness to encourage his wife, bless her and build her up. But that wasn’t all - the blessing on her life returned to him as she was more able to give herself to her husband. The quality of their life improved more in this past year than in the 10 years previous. I call that revival. It is part of what we are praying for when we ask the Lord to pour out His Holy Spirit on the church.
I believe that the quality of our live together as husbands and wives is a healing balm on a world riddled with broken marriage, and the fruit of divorce in the form of broken children of divorce. Where but in witnessing the sweetness of loving married life can the hope of healing and restoring the next generation come? How can we put humpty-dumpty together again without strong marriages and loving families? This is a practical fruit of revival fire. Husbands who love the Bridegroom and His bride, the church are also called into a deeper love and unity with their wives. The two really do go together, love for Christ and love for our wives.
May your heart be gripped with a desire for greater passion to love your wife. May the commandment come alive in you and drive you to pray and trust Christ for greater devotion to the precious woman God has given to you.
September 21st, 2007 at 7:21 pm
What wife could resist?
September 24th, 2007 at 8:59 am
This is a refreshing concept. Of course, I am printing this information to share with my spouse of 33 yrs. Maybe this will help him understand me and then I can be more loving and supportive towards him. This concept seems to be a win-win for each spouse. I will keep you posted on my results. Thank you for sharing this information.
Vicki