I am not a loser
I am not a loser. Though there have been many occassions when that moniker might have stuck. I made a profession of faith when I was about 8 or 10 years old. When I was 12 I was baptized in a Baptist Church in Cleveland, Ohio called Madison Ave. Baptist Church. However, I was never discipled. I had no real idea of how a person was supposed to live a Christian life. I had rules. (those I knew) I had the group social pressures (which worked somewhat), but I had no real idea of how to tame my inner desires, or how to stand against temptation, or how to grow as a Christian.
Consequently my teen years in particular were pretty tough. It seemed like every time my church gave an altar call to “re-dedicate” my life I was running to the altar. I must have rededicated my life 20 times. It wasn’t really until I was in seminary (my mid 20’s) that I began to understand that there were a number of things that I needed to have in place in my life in order to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord.
It was my senior year of graduate school that I first met Ray Nethery. He was the first leader that I met who seemed to understand the significance of pastoral care and accountibility. Ray has stood with me for nearly 25 years. Even though there were many things I needed to learn, and unlearn, and re-learn I have come to understand and believe the 4th of the 10 “essentials” from the message I preached this past Sunday (7.8.07). That point reads: As a son/daughter of God I can be certain that every trial or temptation has a way out or a way to endure. I want to say there was a time when I didn’t really believe this to be true. And my dis-belief was rooted totally in one thing and one thing only - my pathetic experience of powerlessness.
But Ray, and others taught me that for this verse to go from sentiment to reality it was necessary that I be willing to avail all the means of grace which God gives to be able to stand or escape temptation. Consider the passage where this idea comes from: I Cor. 10:3 - The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. There are several things here that I need to understand if I am going to have this as my actual experience.
First, I need to reject totally and completely the idea that there is anything special or unique about my struggles with sin. What I find is that if I think there is, this belief will often become an excuse for why I fall. The more I give into the lie that my situation is unique, or I am unusually vulnerable or weak the more likely I am to not escape or stand.
Second, God will not allow me to face more temptation that I can endure. I might be inclinded to tell myself that it was more than I could handle (after I sin). But if I do that is a bold faced lie. If I fall into temptation it is because I said yes, when I could have said no. Either this is the truth of God or it isn’t.
Third, this scripture says that when I am tempted God will show me a way out so that I can endure. Here is where the vast majority of failure takes place. There is far more to “the way out” then gritting your teeth, or clenching your fists, or counting to 10. In fact, the way out will very often involve other people who we call on for prayer and accountibility. The way out might involve fasting, increased meditation on the word, more sleep, better nutrition, exercise, weekly meetings with an accountibility partner, etc. The way out calls us to a new way of living, not a one shot “hold your breathe and pray it passes” approach. The promise is ironclad, God really does provide a way out of temptation. But will we be humble enough to take the medicine which He provides?
It took me many years to get it, may God hasten your learning curve.
peace, the black dwarf
July 18th, 2007 at 6:35 am
There couldn’t be a more timely message.
thanks, Scott.
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
4In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. Hebrews 12
August 25th, 2007 at 10:55 am
I am just now catching up on the LOG website information.
This blog has real meaning for me. For 3 wks in July I was unable to get up or eat or function daily responsbilities. I was even unable to go to church on Sunday which made me feel so guilty, I began hating myself for my weaknesses. I prayed as I laid on the coach unable to perform any normalacy of a life that the loving Lord would help me. I would pray, Please God make me strong enough to aleast attend church. But I missed 3 Sunday’s. After the end of the 3rd week in July, I began to feel better and started eating, then began showering & brushing my teeth & washing my face everyday. (These are all signs I am feeling better).
That week after feeling proud of myself for aleast getting out of bed and acting like I am a humanoid again, my husband stated how I was such a failure as a wife & mother. I was pretty devastated upon hearing these things from a man whom I have been married to for 33 yrs. He has also witnessed by human breakdown for the last 6 yrs and never has been quite so harsh. Now I have been threatening divorce for at least 10 yrs but have never actually pick up a phone and called a lawyer. This tactic has been my card to use when things get bad in the household. Usually everyone backs off and leaves alone for awhile. This has been my homelife for many years and the turmoil, partly my fault and others participated, has frankly worn me down. I am so tired of the fighting, disagreements about the littlest things that don’t even matter but turn into a big problem because noone in my family will stop argueing until we are exhausted and need sleep so we can start again the next day.
When my husband expressed his disappointments in me in early August I decided this is it. I need to get my life together, move on, get out and find my own way to survive. Maybe this is a message that I need to move on by myself. My children are raised and really do not need me for support. Maybe this is my sign to a better life. Maybe this is God’s signal to follow my path alone.
Then I started weeping. How can this be God’s message to get a divorce. God’s word says we must obey our spouses. God does not want us alone. He made Eve for Adam so he wouldn’t be alone. So now I am really confused.
I called my friend who brought me to Christianity in Jan 2007. I was bawling like a baby. I could tell in her voice she was not happy about my emotional state. She said I needed immediate help. She contacted another lady in STL and told me to call her now.
I did. Carolyn is her name and she actually led me to receive the holy spirit within my soul. This lady is very spiritual and you can actually see Jesus within her (or at least I did when I met her)
She prayed for me and gave me some scriptuals to refer to for redeeming my path with the Lord.
Then she asked if I was going to church. I told her I found a church that I really connected to and really like the group of people that attends this church. Everyone has been really nice and welcoming to me since I started attending in March. Carolyn said go to church and ask for help. I was reluctant because I told Carolyn everyone was nice but I really felt uncomfortable airing all my personal issues with strangers. I didn’t have any people I socialized with. Carolyn insisted I go to church and ask for help and ask for prayers to help me to be strong with my faith so I can be strong to overcome my worldly circumstances.
I went to church the next Sunday in August, asked Maryanne Dahmen for help and that I needed someone I could call for prayer intercession during the week. She said she would ask if someone at the church would help.
During the service, I felt overcome with unworthiness. Before communion, I noticed Vesper at the front and I went up to ask her for prayer. She was wonderful and her prayers lifted my spirit from despair to fullness. I so appreciated her kindness, gentleness and her strong spirit to hold me up.
After communion, Maryanne prayed with me to get me thru the week will less turmoil.
Then I attended Fri nite with Gregorio McNutt. He was a very moving speaker. His words were great comfort to me and gave me a sense of direction to help me find answers I need.
Bottom Line: LOG is truly a place of God with Jesus’ presence. The members are very spiritual people and seem to be completing God’s work as true disciples of his work. I feel so blessed to have found this church and be among all you servants of God. I hope someday I will grow up to be one of you. Peace and Love to all.