The fragile peace
Scripture is filled with concern for peace. Romans 12:18 - If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. That sets before us a weighty responsibility to seek and maintain peace with one another. This begins with family life. Husbands and wives are required to ‘as far as it depends’ on themselves to live at peace with one another. This exhortation extends to the church community. We are too, ‘as much as it depends’ on our actions to seek to live at peace with one another. That is formidable, but it is the word of God and it is possible to be obedient to that word.
That exhortation calls us to stretch ourselves, to push to turn the other cheek, to go the second mile to actively seek peace. Yet, it is common for Christians to retreat when conflict emerges in relationships. Why is it imperative for us as a community of believers to make peace a priority? And why is it so common for relationships to fall apart?
First, the peace which is possible in our relationships with one another is rooted in the peace which Christ has obtained for us through his death on the cross. Romans 5: (1)Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, (2) through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. This is a costly peace, in fact you can say it cost him everything. Jesus gave his very blood to obtain a peace with the Father that could be obtained in no other way. Out of this peace flows both the inward motivation and the possibility of living at peace with one another.
Again and again scripture brings emphasis to the importance of peace: 2 Corinthians 13:11 - Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. Ephesians 4:3 - Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Colossians 3:15 - Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. These scriptures are representative of the call to live at peace with one another, because of what Christ has done in obtaining peace with God for those who have trusted Christ.
Is this clear to you? Does there seem to be any wiggle room which permits us justification for breaking relationships with our brothers and sisters? Well there are some instances where it might become necessary to separate ourselves from other Christians, and I want to look at what are the circumstances which scripture suggests this as a last resort. But first let me talk about what is usually the case.
First, human beings often have a fear of confrontation. This may come from the way we have been formed by our childhood, or difficult experiences with conflict in our adult years. It is easy to imagine that confrontation may result in explosiveness and that things could actually be made worse. The problem is that retreating from the situation doesn’t make it go away and will often lay the ground work for giving up completely.
Second, fear of having our own junk exposed can be a powerful incentive to run away from working things out with someone with whom we are at odds. There is an inevitable friction which results anytime you bring people together. That friction is produced from ordinary foibles, weaknesses, and opinions as well as sin which comes out when people are with one another. Spend any amount of time with people and out comes ugly stuff. Close proximity with brothers and sisters is a little like lifting up a rock to see what lies below the surface. One can either acknowledge and accept what gets exposed, run away, or blame others for what gets exposed. Christian community, if it contains any level of honesty, will expose the weaknesses of our marriages, the shortcomings of our parenting, the follies of our children, and our own insecurities, bad habits and sins. If this were not true why would Paul have to admonish us more than once to make every effort to remain at peace with one another? That is why the Cross of Christ, and the costly peace which he obtained must always remain at the center. No other motivation is sufficient. No other motivation is powerful enough to help us overcome our tendency to avoid, run or blame others for those things which need to be addressed within ourselves.
There are times when we are genuinely offended by the rudeness, inconsiderateness or insensitivity of our brothers and sisters in the church community. I believe that most often we are to bear with one another, to be tolerant and slow to anger. But there are clearly times when we have to talk about a matter, lay things out and seek to understand and to be understood. Once again it is the Cross of Jesus which propels us to pursue peace, to seek reconciliation, to go as far as we can to preserve the unity of the Spirit.
But are there circumstances where we are compelled to break fellowship? Paul tells us in Titus 3:10 - Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. What is a divisive person? Someone who is unwilling to make peace, but instead through innuendo, unfounded allegations, or slander sows discord in the body of Christ. 2 Thessalonians 3 warns Christians to avoid associating with those who are lazy and mooch off of others. Paul had to exhort the Christians in Corinth to disassociate themselves with a man in their congregation who was engaging in unrepentant sexual immorality. There are as well many examples of Paul having to rebuke false teaching, correct practices in the church which were extreme or wrong-headed. Those who deny they faith in ways that are substantial, or distort the truth of God are to be rebuked with the intention of restoration. But if you look very carefully in the scriptures, the occasions where breaking fellowship is commended are rare. There is a very simple reason for that - Jesus Christ gave his life blood to reconcile men to God and to one another. Jesus prayed for unity among his people. Overwhelmingly scripture enjoins us to make peace, seek peace, and preserve peace.
Brothers and sisters there is always the possibility of walking in the peace of Jesus. It is a way which requires humility, the ability to receive correction, submission to one another and the willingness to treat others as better than ourselves. It is the way of the Cross. I believe the alternative brings reproach on the name of Jesus. May Jesus, the treasure of the Father, who was poured out to open the way of peace to God stir in us a resoluteness to seek the peace of Christ with all of our hearts.